Saturday, April 6, 2013

Dark Cloud of Doom

That's me.

My kid has cancer.

This is sad.

But no one would describe me as a sad or melancholy person.  But people expect me to be sad.  But I don't want to be sad all the time.  It sucks.
I walk around feeling like a dark gray cloud over the world; people look at me and feel sad.  I don't like having that kind of impact on people.  That's not how I roll.  I make people happy, or try to.  I laugh at myself and make fun of celebrities and stupid things people do.

I know people are concerned and scared for me. I know people are nervous about saying or doing the wrong thing.

But I don't want you to be unhappy.


  1. You will, at times, find yourself supporting those around you and learn so much about human nature as you walk this walk through Ben's journey to a healthy life. Fear is a powerful force for us all. Being sad is normal. Being sad all the time isn't. Children need to see that as parents we are fearful, and sad, and happy, and angry, and all those emotions that we sometimes try to hide from them. If you feel like crying . . . cry. If you feel like laughing . . . laugh with all your might. Above all, be honest with your boys and yourself. My 86 year old aunt shared this with me this week:
    Years and years ago, after a very trying and tiring day with her little boy, she said, "I give up." He replied, "You can't give up. You're a Mommy."
    There may be times you feel like giving up, but you won't. You'll just take a nap and things will be better. XXXOOO

  2. We just saw Kathy's morning post and realized who Ben was - as you can tell, we are mostly out of the B'ville loop. However, we are now putting Ben at the top of our list of good thoughts, etc, until I read that he has the all clear! And, we'll add the rest of you Morrises, for good measure!